We have just returned from church. Al was ordained as an elder this morning, which makes me very proud of him. The service was especially good, and the sermon completely enthralling and powerful and totally what I needed to hear to remind my very grateful heart that the best way to express my gratitude is to help care for His world with the intelligence and compassion He has given me. I am constantly amazed at how God truly does make all things work together for good for those who love Him. As part of the sermon, the pastor spoke of the fear he encounters in the hearts of the people he counsels... and I can relate to the fear they feel. This world is full of some very scary things and people, indeed. But at this point in my life, and because of my relationship with God, I am not afraid. I know He is in charge, and I can trust Him. That is an amazingly safe and happy feeling.

Anyway, we returned from my parents' house last night. We'd traveled the two hours to their home in upstate South Carolina on Thursday night, in order for me to be there to attend a meeting with my mother, father and aunt and an Investment Specialist at my old company, Charles Schwab, about my grandparents' finances, and also so that we could all three attend the annual ice cream social my mom has for the family. The trip was fun, and the ice cream was delicious.

At last year's ice cream social, I was pregnant with my lil Googy. After I write this entry, I'm going to go read the one from last year to reflect on how I was feeling then. This year, I just felt incredible! To have my family all together and to be able to see Alex in the mix, loving and being loved, laughing, kissing, playing and being one of us... well, it's just magical. It really is. She is so loved, so welcome, and so accepted, and becoming so... vital? to the mix. There is no better feeling in the world than to see your child *actually becoming* a member of your family. I mean, she became a member when she was conceived, in the family tree sense of membership. But now, as she's maturing and relating to the people in her life, she is quickly forging and moving into a space in this family that only she can fill, and it just makes me nearly burst with joy and amazement. The creation of life is miraculous, but the creation and evolution of my daughter's soul and spirit *before my very eyes* absolutely dumbfounds me.

Thank you, Julie, Alice, Jemma, Heather and Ellie for your sweet compliments about Alex. I look at her and I just think (as any mother does) that she is the prettiest little flower I have ever lain eyes on, but I'm her mother. It's nice to hear you all think she's pretty, too. You all always seem to know exactly what to say to make me beam, and I am happy to share my little diary and my little beanie with you! I love all of your diaries and your babies so much... I feel like they're all partially mine, in a way... like my little nieces and nephews (mostly nephews). Thanks for making room for us in your lives. I actually get lonely for you when I'm away!

Last entry seemed to really strike a chord with Julie... and I'm happy that she found it helpful. I have to admit, when I wrote it, I felt sortof vulnerable. Sometimes I am very torn about how to use this diary - do I want it to be newsy updates and pictures, like a scrapbook? Or do I want it to be my innermost thoughts and feelings, like a real diary? Knowing that Julie feels she benefitted from some of my thoughts/feelings makes me feel a bit less hesitant to share more deeply. I like that feeling... having been a deep thinker and a writer since I was a young girl (I've kept a written journal off and on since I was 10 or so, and majored in English in college because I am so fond of writing), a diary just seems a natural way for me to relate to the world. I spend so much time pondering and weighing and theorizing and praying over how to raise Alex that it's amazing I haven't blown up the Diaryland site documenting it all, really!! Maybe that's why I didn't do it until recently - because I figured if I started, I might never stop! Well, thankfully, Alex would likely not allow that.

In response to my writing about her being a good sleeper, Alex woke us up twice in the night Friday night - once to eat (tho I think she was actually just cold, as her little traveling bed is so low to the floor and was very close to an air conditioning vent) and subsequently to have her poopy diaper changed. Thankfully she returned to dreamland quickly and complaint-free both times, though. Phew! The pediatrician said we can expect some sleep interruptions in the 7th, 8th and/or 9th months, as babies' sleep patterns change, and they wake more fully at several intervals nightly. Her advice is to let Alex use her self-soothing techniques when this happens, and after three nights she should go back to sleeping through again. I feel prepared, I suppose, but am still slightly dreading this whole scenario.

The eating went better at Nana's, for some reason. I have no idea why... but she did seem to be less bored with her food and more apt to just eat bite after bite without the playful interruptions. Al fed her her breakfast this morning, so I'm not sure if being home will return her to old pesky lolly-gagging ways. We shall see! I am thinking she might enjoy having some food with a bit of texture (not too much because she still has no teeth and no signs of any on the horizon) to make things more interesting, but I'll have to go do some research on the internet before I make a decision about that. Jemma, if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. Seems like Jaya was eating lots of textury things before her toothypeg made its appearance.

We are thankfully home all week this week, all three of us, and for the weekend, and we are having some friends over on Saturday, for what I think may be a Mexican themed dinner party. They have a daughter who turned one in March, and I am dying to see how she's grown since we last saw her last Thanksgiving. But yes, I am just glad to be HOME for awhile, looking forward to peaceful, predictable days of walks, naps, home-cooked meals, and a bit of yardwork, and finally getting to do some snazzing up and enjoying of the "new" back porch (I'll post pictures later in the week when I've gotten the snazzing done.) The weather here looks like it's going to be perfect for the next 5 days or so.

Having Al home all week is such a treat... I will have the chance to pamper him a little and show him how much I love him and appreciate everything he does for me and for our little family. Aaaah...

The PMS is gone... life is good again. Very, very, very good.

Oh, and here's what I wrote after the ice cream social last year... from the entry dated 6/1/04. "the little one is still squirming around in there. she seems to move up and down between my lower pelvic area and just below my belly-button - the kicks and squirmies i feel can be anywhere between those two places... i wish i could have a glass belly so we could look inside and see her in there any time we wanted to! like the cows at clemson! for now, i will settle for her soft little rollings and light kicks - i know she's fine and cozy where she is! i am quite the mushy mommy already. but i love her and have this feeling that she's supremely funny and sweet and easy-going, so who could not get all sappy thinking about her?! she's going to be such a great little person to have around!"

And for anyone out there who doubts maternal instinct, I can say with certainty, I was 100% right about my Bean!